time to refocus?

I initially came to our church with the intent of working with youth. I still love working with teenagers, but I haven’t given it as much of my time as I’d like. During the course of my two years here, I’ve added worship, graphic design, and Momentum to my plate, along with starting up a middle school group (which I would consider part of the youth). Momentum, although not fully operational by any means, has seemed to take up a huge portion of my thought, study, and energy - and I won’t even begin to go into my frustrations with ‘worship’.

Due to financial issues at the church, I’m wondering if it’s time to reconsider my priorities. It seems that to some extent, youth ministry has been left by the wayside. Truthfully, I don’t think I’ve been completely faithful to my primary job because of all the other stuff I’ve added in. It bothers me that the youth have suffered for it, and in some ways the church has probably suffered for it as well.

There has been some heavy discussion as to what exactly the role or purpose of Momentum should be. Mostly, I have considered it as more of its own thing rather than a real part of the church. However, the other thought has been that it could be a catalyst for change within the church. I’m not entirely convinced that would work, but I could see the benefit to that approach. The challenge for me is that a missional movement seems nearly polar opposite from institutional church, and my ecclesiology is very much rooted in the missional movement. That makes it difficult to work just to keep the institution alive, and inside I feel conflicted - not because I don’t want to see our church succeed, but because my definition of success is so much different.

Overall, to me it still feels that Momentum really has no momentum. Perhaps at this point it would be best just to focus on youth and helping them be missional. Maybe it’s just not time for Momentum yet. I don’t know.. those are the things going through my mind today. It might be different tomorrow.