a weird dilemna

so, last week i let our youth decide what they wanted to do this summer. we had planned on going to a week-long event called merge that is about connecting our stories to God's. there wasn't much excitement generated in the group about it - mostly because it would "take a whole week out of our summer". so, i gave the choice of going to merge or another event - 'the call' in nashville. the call is something that many people from the church are planning on going to, and it's been advertised frequently.

internally, i struggle with that decision. i don't know if it's all the books i've been reading or what, but something about the call just feels off to me. probably because of this line taken from the call's website: "The Church and the nation are in a crisis! In no uncertain terms, the elections of 2006 showed us that there is no clear moral foundation upon which the nation votes. In this present historic moment, the Church was paralyzed. Tens-of-thousands stayed home and could not vote as if they were drunk with disillusionment."

the implication seems to be that since democrats won, we obviously have lost our moral foundation. to be fair, they do go on to say that God is neither democrat or republican (which i agree with wholeheartedly). however, throughout the website there seems to be this idea that the church should have total influence and control of this political party, and that's how we will restore the moral foundation of the country. i might be reading more into it than there really is, i dont' know.

anyhow, it really highlights the struggle that i've been having for a while, and i think it's probably somewhat due to the fact that i'm almost entirely influenced by emerging and missional church books. i've decided that for one week i will put those books down and focus primarily on the Bible and a christian classic: the practice of the presence of God, by brother lawrence. i'm hoping to bring a little balance to myself spiritually, because all of the emerging stuff tends to get me critical and cynical for some reason.

maybe it will help shed light on 'the call' for me too. i want to be open, but i also want to be faithful to Jesus.

time to refocus?

I initially came to our church with the intent of working with youth. I still love working with teenagers, but I haven’t given it as much of my time as I’d like. During the course of my two years here, I’ve added worship, graphic design, and Momentum to my plate, along with starting up a middle school group (which I would consider part of the youth). Momentum, although not fully operational by any means, has seemed to take up a huge portion of my thought, study, and energy - and I won’t even begin to go into my frustrations with ‘worship’.

Due to financial issues at the church, I’m wondering if it’s time to reconsider my priorities. It seems that to some extent, youth ministry has been left by the wayside. Truthfully, I don’t think I’ve been completely faithful to my primary job because of all the other stuff I’ve added in. It bothers me that the youth have suffered for it, and in some ways the church has probably suffered for it as well.

There has been some heavy discussion as to what exactly the role or purpose of Momentum should be. Mostly, I have considered it as more of its own thing rather than a real part of the church. However, the other thought has been that it could be a catalyst for change within the church. I’m not entirely convinced that would work, but I could see the benefit to that approach. The challenge for me is that a missional movement seems nearly polar opposite from institutional church, and my ecclesiology is very much rooted in the missional movement. That makes it difficult to work just to keep the institution alive, and inside I feel conflicted - not because I don’t want to see our church succeed, but because my definition of success is so much different.

Overall, to me it still feels that Momentum really has no momentum. Perhaps at this point it would be best just to focus on youth and helping them be missional. Maybe it’s just not time for Momentum yet. I don’t know.. those are the things going through my mind today. It might be different tomorrow.

The results of my APEST test

I took a spiritual gifts test on www.theforgottenways.org that ranked me in terms of Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Shepherd, and Teacher. It wasn't the greatest test I've ever taken, and it cost me $10, but I think it seemed pretty accurate.

Here are the results:
1. Apostolic
2. Teaching
3. Prophetic
4. Evangelistic
5. Shepherding

It kind of surprised me that Shepherding was dead last, but I guess I can see that in myself.

Hallelujah Nuns

A good way to start out Sunday morning.

really bored

ok. so i blogged a little about being bored in a previous post. as it turns out - just sitting around and doing nothing because of illness is even worse. i can only handle so much t.v. and reading in a day.

I'm going in for a CT scan today to see what's going on with my body. Hopefully they figure out what the problem is so I can get back to having somewhat productive days. I have always been somewhat hyperactive, and this has been a frustrating experience.

Gary the Southern Painted Turtle

Here is the newest addition to our family. He's tiny, and pretty shy, but once he gets used to his new environment and to us, it will be fun. This breed is supposed to be one of the most friendly kinds of turtles.

stupid phone...

well, today was a disappointing day. nothing major i suppose, but apple delayed their next operating system until october. i had hoped they would release it soon - not that the current operating system is bad, it's just that there was seemingly a big build up for it being released this spring. that was, until the iphone needed more resources to finish on time. so they pulled developers from their OS to work on the iphone.

it does present an interesting thought about what exactly the priorities of apple are - their computers or consumer 'gadgets'? I for one am not interested in the iphone. it looks cool, and i hope the touch screen technology eventually finds its way to an ipod, but i've never been crazy about an all-in-one device, because it always seems like products that do one or two things extremely well are always far superior to the all-in-ones. plus i typically despise talking on the phone, and usually it's more of a distraction than anything - so i would hate to associate my precious ipod with a phone. it's like blessing and cursing rolled up into one.

oddly enough, i kind of hope the iphone flops so apple gets back to focusing on its computers.

Ice Age

I'm not so sure that the polar ice caps are melting as much as just relocating to northern Indiana. This is the view outside my office - on April 11. Days like today make me wonder why Erica and I didn't move to Texas and start a youth center like we had planned.

bored

lately i've been bored with life in general, but mostly with church. it just doesn't get me excited to do church services anymore. no matter what is added into them, i just can't get interested. so, i don't know if it's just me or if it's where we are at as a church.

regardless, it doesn't make it much fun for me - and i can't seem to muster much energy or creativity to give for a church service. i guess a lot of what i'm feeling is "been there, done that". even the idea of doing a church service aimed at people my own age and more "relevant" doesn't have much appeal.

i can't tell if the pendulum swung so far for me on the missional stuff that it ruined me for "church" or if this is something that God is doing in me to get me to a new place...

Worst CGI Ever

I love special effects in movies... especially when they look like they're done by a five year old.

add another year, a couple of inches of snow, and a turtle

so, it's officially my 28th birthday now. ten years since i was in high school... weird. anyhow, it also snowed for the occassion. there are 2-3 inches of it outside. if this is some sort of weird effect of global warming, i'm buying a toyota prius and putting solar panels on my laptop.

in other news... yesterday (april 6) i ordered a southern painted turtle. it will stay small enough for the big aquarium i have in my basement. i'm still trying to think up a name. i like simple, non-animal feeling names. The top contenders at the moment are: Gary, Jason, or Clark Kent.

Evan Almighty

Here's a "sequel" to Bruce Almighty. It looks like a play on Noah's life... only with a conservationist spin (I'm guessing because of a link I found on the web site). Anyhow, I liked Bruce Almighty, and Steve Carell is one of my favorite actors... I'm a huge fan of The Office.

Here's a link to the movie's web site:

http://www.evanalmighty.com/

too many things to buy... too little money

ok, so my techno materialism is nearly at an all-time high. the adobe cs3 premium design suite is almost out - the upgrade will cost me $599. apple dropped the price on their 20" display: $599 (not a necessity by any means, but still very nice), and the next apple operating system could come out at any time: $???.??

i really wish i was getting more back on tax returns. oh well. it's all just stuff, i know. but it's cool stuff. i can usually turn down stuff and not get too wrapped up in it. it's the cool stuff that gets me.

sometimes i wish i was back in mexico, where i only had clothes and a bible. not a lot to worry about...

bloody weather..

yes, that is a quote from monty python. it's april 4th, and i'm watching it snow outside. it was in the mid 70's yesterday. there should be some sort of law of nature that it can't snow and be 70 or above in the same week... let alone the next day.